The runaway
by Raviolissima
Summary: Jay had once been the one to pull her out of her hole, can he be the reason she spirals out of control again? Linstead.
1. Chapter 1 : I'm not doing it

**A/N : Well, first, hello to the Chicago PD community, that's a first for me. The first story I've published in years, and the first ever on CPD! So, here I am, I've had this idea in mind for a while, and it's been sitting in my computer for a few weeks now. As you may notice further down, English isn't my first language and it's not as smooth as I'd like it to be.**

 **So, on with the story, it's Linstead all the way, with a little bit of Jay!whump and Erin!angst.**

* * *

The blood was flowing rapidly under her fingers as she screamed through her radio "Ten-one, ten-one, officer down!"

Her boss immediately responded "Erin where are you?", she could hear he was tense, waiting on the next order he was going to bark into his own radio.

"2622 West Cortland Street, Jay's been shot!"

"We're right behind you."

She vaguely heard one of her teammate call for an ambulance before Voight arrived, closely followed by Ruzek and Atwater. Everything happened so fast, one second he was behind her, the next he dropped, and she realized it had been one too many seconds before she applied pressure on the wound. She was extremely overwhelmed, she did not even register when Atwater pushed her to the side to take her place. She found herself looking at Jay, who has been unconscious for the last minute, bloody on most of his upper body.

Voight was still barking on radio, demanding backup to cover the perimeter where the suspect might still be hiding.

An ambulance pulled up front three minutes later, sirens blaring as it approached the area. Two paramedics smoothly took Kevin's place, communicating medical information about Jay's condition. The female EMT tightened a bandage on Jay's wound while the other assessed his state of consciousness and took his vitals. They loaded him into the truck in less than a minute. Erin had been a passive witness, but snapped back into reality when Hank pushed her tenderly toward the back of the truck.

"Go, he said, we'll be right behind you."

She nodded and jumped in the back, after the male paramedic.

Hank hit the back window twice and the ambulance left the scene tires screeching.

That is when time started to return to normal for Erin. She was sitting there, hearing the faint sirens over her head. All she could do was sit, and hold Jay's hand as the EMT was pumping liquids in her boyfriend's arm.

She took his hand between her two own.

"Please Jay don't do this to me, please, hold on. I'm so sorry."

This was all her fault and she knew it. If she had been a little more cautious, if she had looked on the street, she could have avoided this, she would have seen the guy pull out a gun on them, before he fired that one bullet right through Halstead's neck.

She knew his chances of surviving this were slim. She had seen enough wounded and dead people to know the extend of the damages. Jay was dying today.

This morning they were drinking coffee in her kitchen, he told her he loved her before they left for work, as usual, just in case one them was not coming home at night. And that was the day she dreaded. She was scared to death, she had no idea how she would live without him. What was the point?

She could still smell his shampoo when he emerged from the bathroom, hair damp and freshly dressed. She still felt herself blush when thinking about how lucky she was.

Lucky and happy had ended.

The ambulance came to a quick stop. The driver opened the back doors and she mechanically descended and watched them unload the gurney with a very pale looking Jay on it. She followed into the ED of Chicago Med, passing through the sliding doors after the paramedics.

"CPD's incoming! Doctor Rhodes : Baghdad!" Maggie instructed loudly.

Connor Rhodes was already slipping on a pair of latex gloves as he listened to the paramedics.

"Jay Halstead, CPD, GSW to the neck, lost a lot of blood on the scene. BP's 90 over 60, GCS at 7."

Connor nodded and followed, passing in front of a very shocked Natalie and rotated into Baghdad. He waited until the gurney was aligned with the bed before instructing : "On my count, very gently. One, two, three."

Jay was transferred on the bed and the paramedics rolled the gurney out. Maggie was staring at the scene, while Connor and two nurses started assessing their patient's state. That was when she noticed Erin standing in the middle of the hall, bloody hands and forearms, wandering like a lost child, staring at Jay, too.

"Erin! What happened?" she did not leave her much time to answer before adding "I'm calling Will."

Will appeared only a few moments later. Erin was staring into the room helplessly. He peeked into the room himself, slightly panicked, before taking in Erin's appearance. He eyed her from head to toe. The front of her shirt was covered in blood, blood had splattered on her face. Judging by the amount of blood she was wearing, Jay was severely wounded. He glanced back into the room. Lots of blood in there, too. The nurses were busy, focused, one of them was inserting a central venous line, the other was assisting Doctor Rhodes in treatment of the wound, that was profusely bleeding.

"Erin, what happened, how's Jay?"

She turned her head and shrugged slightly. Her hoarse voice was filled with worry. He wondered if she was starting to panic.

"I don't know, I thought we were alone, it was just routine check. I'm sorry Will, it's my fault."

Erin finally turned her head to look at Will, lacking the courage to meet his eyes though. He held her shoulders. He was at least one foot taller than her and she felt the trust he had in her. Even in those circumstances.

"I'm sure it's not. Doctor Rhodes is one of the best. Jay's gonna be fine."

He was trying to convince himself as much as trying to convince Erin.

There really was a lot of blood, and everything that was happening in the room was a blur to Will. It was his brother on the table, lying unconscious, and as much as a good doctor he was, there was absolutely nothing he could do. He did not even register what Connor was doing or the familiar words he was saying.

Gauze fell to the floor, damp with blood. The whole room was filled with the loud and frequently beeping noise, indicating tachycardia.

Jay's shirt had been cut open somewhere in the process and Ethan, visibly under pressure, was flashing a light into their patient's eyes.

"Pressure's dropping!" a nurse loudly announced.

Another added that they needed another unit of blood. Connor asked for dopamine, a nurse immediately did as ordered. Connor looked up to Erin and Will before reporting his attention to the origin of the hemorrhage.

A loud beeping sound caught the two in-laws' attention. He was crashing. Will knew it too well and Erin understood that the time had come. There was no way she was enduring this. She watched Jay, whose facial expression had not changed and started panicking for good. She tried to hide it from everyone around, especially Will, but his attention was on his brother anyway. Did he think that Jay was going to die, too?

The doctors were working hard, but Jay did not seem to be coming back.

That is when Erin made her decision. She was not going to watch him die. She could not handle it, another loved one dying because of her. First Nadia, now Jay.

"No. No. I can't. I'm not doing this."

She started backing up and when Will lifted his eyes to look at her, she was leaving through the glass doors.

* * *

 **A/N : To be continued, of course...**


	2. Chapter 2 : Wait and see

**A/N : Thank you all for the amazing reviews, I hope this chapter meets your expectations, and that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

* * *

The beeping sound stopped quickly and Jay was back. Doctors and nurses jumped on the occasion, right after he was stabilized again, to transport him to the OR.

Doctor Choi stayed behind to talk to Will.

"He's critical. Dr Rhodes is going to try and repair the artery. He lost a lot of blood. We administrated fluids and blood, but we gotta act fast."

Will nodded and Ethan patted him on the back of the shoulder, before leaving. There was nothing he could do before, but now, Jay was being rolled out of the ED and out of his sight. The Intelligence team arrived at the exact time they were taking the gurney away. Voight walked up straight to him.

"How's he?"

"Well, he, uh... Lost a lot of blood, his heart stopped once, but he's being taken to the OR..."

Will had managed to keep it together until then, but right now he felt like crying. A lot.

"It's not good."

"Your brother's one hell of a fighter, he's gonna pull through this." He nodded at the affirmation. Voight patted his shoulder.

"Where's Erin?" the older man asked.

Will stopped staring at the wall and looked back to Voight, before reporting his gaze to the entrance.  
"She, uh... I think she left."

The three Intelligence guys frowned, but Voight was the most worried. He knew Erin and what she was capable of doing when a situation went out of her hands. He had seen what Nadia's death had done to her, and what extremities she had gone to, to process her grief. He just hoped Halstead clung hard onto life, not only for his, but for Erin's sake, too. He chose to give her time and to wait and see. Halstead had to make it.

The kid had grown on him after all. As stubborn and reckless as he may sometimes be, his unit had become stronger with him. He had been there for Erin when even he had given up. He had been the one to pull her out of her hole. He had put a smile on her face and for that he would be forever grateful.

The surgery was taking forever. Voight started to get restless. Under the false excuse to call the district, he walked down the hall, disappeared from his colleagues' sight. Antonio's gaze followed him for a few seconds. Being a father himself, he knew how conflicted Voight was. Erin was nowhere to be found and had not made contact with the team since fleeing the hospital a few hours earlier.

The hospital staff had given little if not any news about Jay's condition. No news is good news, right?

Antonio met Ruzek's eyes, but none of them said anything.

Voight walked down the hall and after a short call to Trudy, he tried to call Erin, but was directed straight to voicemail. He briefly wondered what she was up to, but Hank Voight was no fool, he knew Erin. How she coped with those things. How she spiraled down after Nadia's death. Alcohol, drugs. She could be anywhere.

He decided against calling her mother. Fighting with Bunny was not the right thing to do in such circumstances.

He was about to turn back to the waiting area when Doctor Rhodes emerged from a staff only area.

"Sargent Voight."

"Yeah. How is Halstead doing?"

"Well, the surgery went well, we were able to repair the damage as best as we could. He is in the ICU right now."

"What's your prognosis?" Voight asked, almost nervously.

"Well, we'll just have to wait and see. He's still critical, but let's remain optimistic."

"Alright, thanks doc."

Connor nodded, and went past Voight, while removing his mask from his neck and throwing it into the nearest trash.

Voight stared at the wall for a few seconds and straightened up before updating his team.

* * *

Erin walked out of the hospital in a hurry. She had felt Maggie's gaze on her until she was outside.

Cold air immediately made contact with her burning cheeks. She felt like crying. Jay was the best man she could ever imagine, he had supported her regardless, always protected her at the possible cost of his life. And there he was today, dying because of her negligence.

She wandered aimlessly for a few minutes, before entering the first bar she encountered. She definitely needed a drink.

She had been there before, during her sabbatical. Her mother knew the bartender, Jam or Wham. Did his name matter?

The bartender's suspicious stare followed his new client. The girl was lost, or was she already drunk? Her eyes were turned off, her shoulders slumped. He noticed her hands. Covered in blood. That sent a shiver down his spine.

She sat at the bar and asked for a shot of tequila with a low, hoarse voice.

He looked at his watch, raised a brow and nodded.

She shot him a cold glare. None of his business, he got it. But once the glass was on the bar, he disappeared in the kitchen and composed 911 on the land line.

"Yeah, there's a chick here with weird behavior, she's got blood all over her. I think she just killed someone."

The CPD emergency worker promised a patrol would be there soon to check on his bar.

It was only a few minutes before a patrol stopped in front of the bar. Two patrolmen, a man and a woman, entered the bar, eyeing Erin for less than a second. That was the girl they had been called about.

She was sitting on one of the bar's booths, glaring at a alcohol-filled shot glass. Her hair was dirty and messy, and her hands were indeed, covered in blood to the elbow. Her burgundy shirt and her jeans were deeply stained, too, only slightly covered by a black coat.

"Miss, are you okay?" The older man approached her carefully.

She did not answer.

The younger policewoman already had a hand on his taser gun, just in case she became wild. They were trained to expect anything from this kind of calls.

"Miss, please stand up. You're gonna have to come with us, please."

Erin finally turned her head and sighed.

"It's okay, I'm one of yours, guys." her hand gently pulled her coat to reveal her badge.

"Detective Lindsay, Intelligence." she added.

"Well detective, we're just checking if everything is okay. You're covered in blood." the woman intervened.

The bartender was watching the scene from afar, still nervous about his unusual client.

"Yeah, well, my partner just got killed, so..."

"Maybe you should get some fresh air, get some water on your face and hands. People here are not used to the sight of blood, it's making everyone a bit nervous, you know?"

She sobered up a little bit from her grief and looked at her hands.

"I... Didn't realize that. Sorry."

"Do you need a ride home, detective?" the patrolwoman asked, feeling sorry for her colleague.

"No, thanks. I think I'll just walk."

The two officers assessed the situation and the woman decided to help her clean up before she left. She strode over to Erin.

"Let me help you."

She took Erin's arm, led her toward the bathroom, and after closing the door, grabbed the towel hanging by the sink. She soaked it and helped clean the blood, first from Erin's face, then her arms. Erin rinsed her hands under the cold water and watched Jay's blood escaped through the drain. The last drops of his blood mixed with the water and disappeared.

"Alright, here you go, detective."

Erin felt better anyway. She did not need a drink after all.

"Thank you..." she ended her sentence in an interrogative way, silently asking for a name.

"Jane. Officer Jane Wilson. I'm so sorry for your loss."

Erin did not answer. Was Jay dead by now? Did she need to know?

She realized she did not need a drink or anything after all. After Nadia's death and Gregory Yates' death, she understood one thing. She needed revenge. That gave her renewed strength, she was not one to wallow in grief, she was one to act. Jay's presence had made her stronger, he had made her understand she was a fighter. She was going to fight, find the one who shot her partner and get her revenge if needed.

"I will be fine, thank you officer Wilson."

They both exited the bathroom. Erin walked up to the bar, put a ten dollar bill on the counter and left.

The two policemen looked at each other and the man shrugged at his partner.


	3. Chapter 3 : Finding Erin

**A/N : Hi everyone, short chapter here, kind of filling in for the rest of the story, which should be there in a few days. Hope you like it.**

* * *

Voight entered Jay's room carefully. The kid was on the vent and a large bandage spread on his neck.

He was not one to be easily shocked, but that sight hit him hard. He really hoped he would pull through this. After all he had been through, this was not the time to be fatally injured. Not now that he had Erin, and, Voight was sure of it, a bright future ahead of them.

When he saw the two of them together, he could not help but picture his grandkids with Halstead for a last name. Crazy thought.

Erin trusted this guy with her life and he knew for a fact that it was reciprocal. He had proved it many times.

 _Erin's off limits._

He laughed internally at these two's stubbornness. They had done the exact opposite, multiple times. And now, he had a detective between life and death and the other one was MIA.

The door behind him opened quietly and Will entered.

"We're monitoring him closely. The consequences from the blood loss should be minimal. We'll have to see when he wakes up."

Voight nodded and they both shared a moment at Jay's bedside.

* * *

"Mouse, find Erin. I need to know where she is ASAP."

"On it boss, I'll call you as soon as I find her."

Antonio started to worry when he heard his boss' voice. Erin needed to come back for Jay, because he was not sure Jay had any other reason to wake up. The doctor had filled them in on his condition. Jay was kept in a drug-induced coma for the next few hours to prevent him from making any movement that would rupture the newly sewed skin and artery. All of this was very fragile for now. He had a long road ahead of him, but everyone would feel a lot better after he wakes up.

Antonio had seen the frown on Will's forehead. That was hard, and he suddenly felt the need to call his own sister, Gabby.

Voight felt the phone vibrate in his pocket, excused himself to Will and exited the room. The screen read _Mouse_.

"Go for Voight."

"Boss, 911 got a call about three hours ago, the description fits Lindsay. She was in a bar two blocks from your position. The report says that she left after two patrolmen talked to her."

"Send me the address."

"Done."

"Erin was seen two blocks from here, I'll check it out, you stay and keep me updated if anything changes."

The team nodded in unison while their boss retreated toward the entrance.

He rapidly found the bar where Erin had been and met the bartender.

Voight held a picture of Erin up to him.

"Was she here?"

"Yeah, but she took off when the cops showed up. Good thing, that girl was trouble, I could feel it. She had blood all over her and..."

Voight cut him off "Where did she go?"

"Like hell I know, I don't want trouble. The female cop talked to her and they all left."

"Was she drunk?"

"No, she didn't even finish her shot."

Voight considered him for a moment and handed him his card "If you remember anything, call me."

The bartender barely answered before wiping his bar with a dirty cloth.

Voight stopped outside the bar, on the busy street. He had no idea what state Erin was in, he could only imagine she was going down.

Jay had once been the one to pull her out of her hole, and now he was the reason she was spiraling out of control, again. The poor guy had a lot of weight on his shoulders.

But he was mostly worried about Erin not being there when Jay wakes up.

* * *

Before going to the last address know of Jimmy Carlton, Erin stopped by her own house. She needed to freshen a bit to get her thoughts straight. She had not realized how hard it would be to go home. Jay was everywhere. His jacket hung in the hallway, a picture of them on the TV cabinet. And when she entered the bathroom, she could still smell his cologne. As if he had just left for work. As if nothing had happened, she almost expected to hear his voice coming from the bedroom.

She thought she was going crazy. After a day like this, how could her broken mind expect him to walk through the door, asking her what she wanted to eat tonight?

She had seen him lying unconscious, seriously injured in the field, a large pool of blood beneath him. Why couldn't her mind integrate that? Why couldn't she tell herself that he was gone?

She could not handle it, she had come to change her outfit, but even the idea of getting rid of Jay's blood was unbearable. That was all she had left of him.

* * *

A few minutes later, Erin was walking fast, she was quickly approaching the place where Jay had been shot, only a few hours earlier. She opened the garden gate and stepped over the grocery bags the guy had dropped when he saw them. She walked up the alley while staring at the pool of blood on the door step. Jay had been standing here, and had dropped because of her, she was his partner and she did not see anything coming. She had not protected him like she should have. She had miserably failed at her major task as a partner.

Avoiding the blood, she ripped the police seal, opened the door and stepped inside the house. Fellow cops had already been here, but she knew the case, she would know what she was looking for when she finds it.

She went through every drawer, every note, every bill. She spent almost an hour there before she eventually found an address, hastily written on the back of an envelope.

It was a storage units facility, not even two blocks from her position. She decided to follow that lead. Anyway, since she did not want to alert Mouse or the team, her means of action were rather limited.


	4. Chapter 4 : Just give me a reason

**A/N : Well, this one is not my favorite chapter, I suck at writing the investigative parts. But after that will be the conclusion of this story.**

* * *

She entered the building and went for the storage unit 156, on the first floor. The door was closed, but she heard movement inside. Her guts were on fire, she would soon be facing the one person who took Jay away from her. She grabbed her gun from her holster at her hip and jerked the door open with her foot.

"Chicago PD!" There was somebody in there, she could make out a small figure in the back of the darkened room.

"Hands in the air, now!" she yelled.

A woman detached herself from the back wall and approached Erin slowly with her hands up. It was a petite brunette, not quite who she had expected to meet.

"Don't shoot, please don't shoot!" the woman begged while dragging her feet on the concrete floor.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" Erin asked, angry to have her vengeance postponed.

"My name is Ariana, I am Jimmy's girlfriend."

Erin still had her gun aimed at her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Jimmy said to hide here, that he had troubles."

"Oh yes he does. Where is he?"

"I don't know, he lead me here and left, saying he would come back when this is over."

"I'm not gonna ask again. Where. Is. He?"

Erin got angrier by the minute. She did not expect this to be easy, but she was counting on her threatening tone to get the information she needed.

"I don't know, I swear! Maybe he is at his cousin's, they have been talking a lot lately. But please don't shoot me! I don't know anything!"

Erin lowered her gun to reach for her cuffs, but the girl was quick to reach behind her back and grab a gun in the waistband of her jeans. A shot came off and hit Erin's shoulder, right in the last inches of her vest. The blow was violent and she jerked backwards but managed to react immediately by shooting two rounds into the girl's chest. She fell and blood started to pool under her.

Not listening to the blaring pain radiating in her arm, Erin pushed the gun aside with her foot to check on the girl's vitals. No pulse. She was dead.

She swore out loud "Dammit!", her slim chance of finding Jimmy had just died.

She pulled her radio out and called for an ambulance, mentioning shots fired by the police and a DOA.

Searching the dead woman's pocket, she found an ID. Her name was indeed Ariana, and there was an address. She decided she would wait for the ambulance and then leave. Her incident report could wait. If she stayed, Hank would stick his nose into this and she needed to do it alone. She would find the guy and she would bring him to justice herself. She just hoped he would try and resist the arrest.

* * *

"Erin, it's me, again." he insisted on the _again_. "Call me back."

He had stopped counting, but he estimated it was the tenth message he had left her. She was unreachable and he had no new lead on her location since the bar. That was three hours before. She needed to know that Jay was alive and fighting, probably mainly for her. He really wished he would find her before he woke up. Halstead needed her by his side.

Just as he climbed into his car to make it back to the hospital, he heard Erin's call on the radio, and immediately recognized her voice. She was calling for an ambulance and informed of shots fired by the police. He had her location. But what the hell had she been doing?

He turned the sirens and beacon on and left his spot with screeching tires.

When he arrived near the facility, there was already an ambulance and two paramedics loading a body covered with a sheet in the back of the truck.

"Where's the officer responding?"

One of them shrugged while the other pushed the gurney inside.

"No idea."

There was a patrol car near the entrance, but no Erin. He quickly went up the stairs and found the crime scene. No Erin.

"Voight, Intelligence. Did you see the officer responding?" he asked to one of the patrolmen while flashing his badge.

"Didn't see'em."

"Where you first here?"

"Yeah looks like it, paramedics said they saw a woman wave at them, but when they made it out of the building, she was gone."

Voight sighed. Erin was unpredictable as a kid. But now she was ten times worse and the stakes were not the same.

"Did the DOA have any ID?"

"Yeah." he answered and handed him the driving license.

"Okay." he mentally noted the address and gave the license back. "Thanks."

He was about to turn back when he noticed a bullet case near where the body had been found. He borrowed a glove from the officer near him and checked it. It was a .22 caliber, not what Lindsay was using. The girl had taken a shot at her. He looked around but could not find any bullet fired into the walls or ceiling. Did she shoot at Erin? Erin was probably injured and that sent a cold shiver down his spine. This would have never happened if Lindsay had not gone there by herself.

He left as quickly as he arrived and drove towards Ariana Vincenti's house.

* * *

Erin arrived at the location just before sunset. It already was pretty dark, she had to check the house before the night, she did not want to fall into a trap, again.

She draw her gun and cracked the door open with her foot. Once inside the house, she announced herself.

"Chicago PD!"

She heard noise upstairs and ran up. She checked every room and when it came to the last one, she knew she would finally find her guy in there.

She brutally opened the door and recognized the man who had shot Jay. She felt her cheeks burning and her head started to spin slightly. He had a gun aimed at her, just like she was aiming hers at him.

"Drop the gun."

She forced herself to cool down and focus.

"I ain't saying it again."

"What you gonna do, huh?" Jimmy was provoking her.

"Just give me a reason."

"I ain't going to jail for a few kilos."

"Oh not for that, you're going down for murder."

"What?"

"Or don't you remember, you shot a police officer this morning!" her blood was boiling and her voice was even more sore that usual, due to frustration. "That was my partner!"

"Wait, that was a cop?"

"I was there too, you son of a bitch! You deliberately shot at us!"

"Whatever, cops are pigs, glad I could get rid of one!"

"Just give me a reason." she repeated with a deadly glare.

That is when she heard footsteps in the stairs.

"Erin!"

Hank's voice. Her chance was gone, now that he was here. He arrived beside her in a few seconds. He had his own gun drawn and aimed at the guy with his left and. With his right hand, he lowered Erin's gun.

"Erin, don't."

Her eyes filled with tears at the sound of his voice. That was why she avoided him. First because he would prevent her from accomplishing her revenge and second because his soothing voice would bring her back to the reality.

"He... He killed Jay, Hank. I can't let him get away with it."

Voight focused on the suspect and approached him carefully in order to cuff him. His goal was to secure the scene before filling her in on the events of the day.

"Hands behind your hand, get down on your knees. Because I won't let her shoot you, but I don't mind doing it myself."

A terrified look passed on the younger guy, but he ended up lowering his gun and doing exactly what Voight said. He cuffed him, making sure that he hurt his wrists on the way, and felt satisfied when he heard Jimmy wince.

"Let's go."


	5. Chapter 5 : Where's Erin?

**A/N : Here it is, fifth and final chapter. It was kinda short and maybe rushed sometimes, but I looked forward getting to this chapter, it may be my favorite. Please enjoy and let me know what you think.**

* * *

Back up had arrived in-between and Voight pushed Jimmy into a patrol car before meeting Erin, who sat on the steps leading to the house, her head in her hands. He sat next to her and rubbed her back tenderly.

"C'mon kiddo."

She lifted her head and looked at him. Tears were streaming down her face, tears that she had managed to hold throughout the day.

"I can't, Hank, I don't want to do it anymore."

He could hear the pain in her hoarse voice. It was high time she knew the truth, he couldn't imagine she had gone all day thinking Jay was dead.

"Erin. Jay's not dead. He made it through the surgery."

"What? she asked, confused. But I saw him die. Plus I know how serious his injuries were."

"He pulled through. We're waiting for him to wake up."

He paused.

"He needs you Erin. It's time you help him out like he helped _you_ out."

Erin looked up at him. Jay was alive. Jay needed her. And she felt stupid for ignoring that fact for the last 12 hours. She had not been there for him, she felt like she had let him down, to fight alone.

That being said, she knew that Jay was not out of the woods yet.

"Yeah. What if he doesn't wake up?"

"C'mon kiddo, let's get you home, you wandered all day with blood on yourself."

He helped her up and guided her down the stairs. The father in him had been worried about her all day, now that he had found her, he had a goal. Bring her back home safely and unease the pressure she must have been facing all day.

* * *

When Voight dropped her off at her place, it was almost midnight. She turned on the lights in her living room and everything did not seem as dramatic as it did a few hours before, now that Jay was alive. Hank insisted she went and took a shower, she gratefully accepted while he helped himself in the kitchen to make her something to eat. She must have been starving.

He felt relieved as well that Halstead was finally pulling through all of this. They only had to wait for him to wake up.

He heard the water running in Erin's bathroom and nodded to himself. He's finally managed to talk some sense into his kid. Just as stubborn as she was fifteen years earlier. This thought made him shake his head in disbelief.

Voight threw a handful of pasta into the boiling water and poured a glass of water for Erin.

When she emerged from the bathroom, fifteen minutes later, diner was ready and waiting for her on her coffee table.

"Thank you Hank," she said with a grateful smile, but it did not quite reach her eyes. She was still worrying about Halstead.

She sat on the sofa but winced when she tried to use her left arm. The hot shower did some good but there was a large bruise spreading from her clavicle to the middle of her biceps.

"What happened to your arm?" Hank inquired.

"It's nothing, just a bruise, nothing time won't heal."

He saw through the half-lie but decided not to push. Well, that resolution held for a few seconds.

"Did the girl shoot at you?"

"Yeah."

Erin did not want to explain any further, but she also knew that Hank was not going to drop it that fast.

"You should get that looked at."

"If it doesn't go away, I will, but it hit the vest, nothing to worry about."

Hank sat beside Erin, the worried frown only slightly going away.

"I was worried about you, kid."

"I know, Hank. You shouldn't be."

"Yeah, I know, I made the wrong idea and I'm sorry."

She smiled, genuinely this time and bumped voluntarily into his shoulder with her healthy one.

"C'mon, eat this, you need some beauty sleep before we go to the hospital."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

* * *

A few hours later, morning light was starting to spread through the blinds of the hospital room. Ruzek had fallen asleep on a plastic chair.

When Jay regained consciousness, he did not need to open his eyes to know it was too bright outside. His head hurt and he felt really weak, this really was the worst hangover of his life.

He tried to move but a violent pain in his neck and arm prevented him to do so. His eyes fluttered open.

The slow movement and wince of pain awoke Adam.

"Oh good, man, you're back from the dead. Don't move. Don't move."

Adam tried to restrain him and make him stay into bed, but it was not working. It made Jay open his eyes though. He did not remember how he got into the hospital.

"What happened?"

"You were shot, bro."

"Where's Erin?

Ruzek felt bad. No one had seen Erin since the shooting. Voight had called to say he had found her, but being Voight, he did not delve into the details.

"Well, huh..."

"Where's Erin? Is she okay?"

Panic started to flow through him and Ruzek knew he had to say something, he heard the beeping accelerate on the monitor.

"Yeah, she's fine, she's..."

"I'm here, Jay." Erin peeked through the ajar door and slipped quietly into the room. Adam silently thanked her for her timing.

She approached him carefully and Adam gave her his place by the bed.

"I'm here baby, how are you feeling?"

"Much better. I had this dream where you'd gone missing. Maybe it was I who had gone missing."

He chuckled silently. Her smile faded a little bit, but he did not seem to notice.

"Yeah, kind of. Don't move, I'm gonna call Will."

Will came in and checked on his brother, eyeing Erin weirdly through the process. She felt guilty enough. She felt like Will was judging her.

Will left the room inviting Jay to move as little and as slowly as possible for a faster recovery.

He closed the door behind him and Erin practically ran after him.

"Will."

"Yeah?"

"I know what you're thinking."

"I don't..." He did not have time to finish his sentence.

"I'm sorry I acted like a coward. I just... Couldn't stand losing him."

"I know." he simply stated. "I never judged you. All that matters is that you came back for him, that you're there for him now."

"I am."

"You've been through a tough time with this, we all have. Now you two can rest."

He squeezed her shoulder and winked at her.

Will knew what Jay saw in her, Erin was an honest and beautiful woman. A woman he would be proud to call his sister-in-law one day.

Erin smiled even after he left and went back to Jay's room, where he already was dosing off.

She sat on the bed and laid her head next to his and intertwined her fingers with his. One entire day without him had been so long. Would she tell him she thought he was dead? That she fled?

"Love you." he mumbled through a half-numb sleepy mouth.

She kissed his forehead and her heart tightened when she thought about how vulnerable Jay was right now. She thought he was invincible, and yet, here he was.

She spent half of the day curled up beside him. At first, she was awake, just listening to his breathing. He was alive. So was she. They had been lucky this time. She could not help but wonder if that would last. She started worrying and soon a lump was forming in her throat.

It was not the first time she had feared for his life. He had faced war, he had been kidnapped and tortured, had had a bounty on his head, now this.

She loved this job, but Jay was something else, she would let it all go if he asked. She could go live in northern Wisconsin with him if he asked.

She could not wait for him to open his eyes again. She had so much to confess to him.

She fell asleep on the satisfying feeling that the man she loved more than anything was alive. Maybe he was invincible after all?

* * *

 **A/N : Well, upon reading it again, I may have a few ideas for one or two more chapters, we'll see if I can find time and enough inspiration!**


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